Yoga found me...

My relationship with Yoga began a long time ago more than 30 years ago.

In my days as a traveller roaming free in the world, I was drawn to the Mythology of the practice, and you often found me reading about Shiva, Saraswati, Krishna, Kali and Ganesh. I filled my home with statues and Deities to marvel over, and was drawn to many practices from Hatha, Kundalini and Raja Yoga to study the spiritual apects of the practice.

I dipped my toes in and out of Yoga for many years, and it was only until I experienced deep trauma that things shifted in a big way for me, and I became to realise that Yoga was a survival mechanism that I needed in my life.

I lost both parents in very close succession of each other. The passing of my Mum even more traumatic, because I missed her by minutes, and when I got to her she was still warm, but I was unable to hold her, reasure her and support her during her passage to the otherside.

This left me feeling all sorts of negative thoughts and with so much guilt, it was such a heavy burden to bare. My Dad then passed the following year and my son was diagnosed with ASD at the same time, which caused everything to come crashing down.

The happy go lucky person that I was became so angry, so reactive and so disconnected from everything including my body. I decided I needed something, and when one of my closest friends invited me to a Yoga/art therapy workshop I knew I needed to go. It wasn't until after practice that we had to present our art work that I realised just how much darkness and sadness I was holding inside of me. The work I presented was dark and confused and in my face.

As Mothers when we experience difficulty and challenges we tend to go into auto pilot, forgetting about our needs and putting everyone else at the forefront. I realised that since losing my beautiful Mom I had been in survival mode, totally disconnected from my grief and sorrow just doing what needed to be done to get through.

The workshop opened me up to accept that I needed help and luckily the art therapist at the workshop was also a Therapeutic breathwork counceller. This was a game changer for me. I started to realise the power of the breath, and the ability to release deeply rooted trauma within the subconsciousness, just by breathing. It all seemed so simple really, but the sessions were confronting and brought up so much that at times I was afraid to go, but I showed up because I knew I needed to. My sessions created a space for expression and processing, which allowed me to release suppressed thoughts and stored emotions in a safe and guided space. I was finally on the road to healing.

I could hear Yoga calling me again, and I knew that my body and spirit needed to practice again, and so I did. I realised that this ancient tradition was a huge way for me to transcend from my mind, allowing me to find solace within the sadness. The more I practiced, the more I healed, and the more my heart healed the more connected I was to my body again.

Yoga enabled me to practice acceptance, access inner peace, and tap into my own inner guidance while connecting to my body in a very intimate way. In that moment I realised that I didn't just find Yoga, but instead Yoga found me and for that I am forever grateful.