I sit here in the country where I grew up in, surrounded by beauty that is indescribable. The mountains form a backdrop, like a spinal column that surround me where ever I go, but there is such a paradox that has always been hard for me to understand. The beauty is met with so much hardship and suffering, and in between the absolute beauty I am always met with the poverty of this third world country. The shanti towns now spreading so far like a cancer that has grown deep without end, but yet the people still smile and hold there heads up high with pride, because they at least have their culture rooted so deep to hold onto and basic shelter over their heads.
Travelling back I find my past flooding back into my mind, so many memories of growing up in the apartheid era where there was such a huge division, but somehow my spirit always knew that this way of life was wrong. As much as my childhood was conflicted, Africa always pulls me back in and reminds me just how fortunate that I am. I sometimes feel guilt that I live the life that I do, the simple things like having a warm home or a stable structure that wont blow away in a storm often don't allow a second thought, until I am reminded of these small things when I witness how many people in Africa live.
I feel torn by the past but then I realize that the awareness I have has made me the person that I am today. My Yoga practice has given me the tools to navigate these challenges to realize that I am human and by being human I feel, experience and live the best way that I can in order to be my true self, often vulnerable but always aware.
When witnessing a loved one slip away, fighting for his last moments on this earth, I have noticed my life flashing before me, the past the present and the future. Life is so dam fragile and we need to appreciate all that we have, this life that we often take for granted, this breath that often doesn't get a second thought until Yoga reminds us just how powerful it is. The privilege of life on this planet, our homes, our health and the freedom of movement.
The past has etched my future but the power is really in this moment, to do better and to be better. I have a choice to hold on or surrender, and its in the surrendering that I am reminded that nothing is permanent and that everything is changing. In a small way everyday I let go and I continue to follow this privileged path with the deepest of gratitude and a heart so wide open. Africa will always have my heart, this land that is so full of contradictions but the intense beauty of the land, and the smiles of the people is a reminder that there is beauty everywhere you just have to choose to see it. I choose to see it everyday, my Yoga practice is my anchor and by choosing to be present I find myself blissfully at home. I am so lucky that I get to live this life, that I get to breathe and see the real world around me, that I am aware that being a human is not always easy, that there are many challenges in this life but its how we choose to see them that counts.
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